I am functioning okaytaking care of my responsibilities. I stay busy. Ive read so many sad comments, but also so many lovely ones. I Lost My Mom 12 Years Ago. Everyone feels like Im negative, and depressing, and really I just want to see my mum. Even though sometimes we accept that this is life but life seems unfair at times. The second year is different in many ways, first that some people expect you to be over it. I still fill the need to call her sometimes. Granted, it was the best way for him, but he was not sick, i had no warning. On top of it all, the flashbacks of seeing him in the pool came often and took me to my knees every time. I lost my husband if thirty years of My Wife, best friend, confidant, solemate is gone. I feel like I am broken and never will be fixed. People told me after the first year it would get better. Nothing in life has prepared me for this and Ive been forever altered by it. He had 8 siblings, which were a tremendous help while he was sick. Im now looking forward to my next few months. He has been gone a little over a year and I still think (and cry) about him roughly 3 times a week. Rest, and take care of your body and mind, and let grief do its work. I would have died for him. Im so sorry for your loss. I show up for life but just get my body there. The little things that you wished you would have done more often, the I love yous you didnt say enough, even the Im sorry, just being able to hold them again, to have them come home. You have left me a huge hole that no-one else can fill in my heart. Today would've been her 3rd Birthday : r/Petloss I dont think Ill ever be ok again. Recovery is slow for me. I watched him wither away. Barbara- I hear and feel you loud and clear. Stage one: denial. i pray for all my friends that are suffering to die soon they are lucky to tell loved ones so long. I cant get my head around the anniversary already being here when it all seemed to happen only yesterday. First year, I got through, thinking 2nd year will be better looking at my 3rd holiday season without him I got on to all three of them cinema text message . Im trying to figure out why its hitting me again all of the sudden after so many months of thinking I was fine. In my mind, it feels like if I had that one more, then I would be satisfied. I lost my Dad in February of 2016. I lost my husband 12/16/2016. Wendy, i lost my mother/best friend 16 months ago and feel the same, nothing will ever be the same again and we are all just a little spot in time. I do have some hope to give you. The medical services made that a nightmare but at least I had his support then. Everyone deals with it in their own way. married for nearly 35 years and even though I have a I keep thinking if I pray hard enough, wish hard enough and love hard enough, he will come back to me. She died of COPD. He passed fifteen days after our 47th Anniversary. Key groups, like the FDA and CDC, have already signed off on a booster dose for all . Strange to say but after reading all the comments I feel validated. My God what if I do get into those 80s? By Gods help we will get through this. May God bless you and comfort you on your journey. I am 7 months in with the loss of my best friend, my wife. Now no one mentions my husbandonly me I want to say his name and share our memories.but other peoples lives carry on.and I am left with mine blown apart. You feel He was 54. I shall not know in this lifetime. Ive also quit watching TV, which I think has been somewhat helpful. Health officials have previously recommended that most people receive a booster shot of COVID-19 vaccine more than eight months after completing their original vaccine regimen. If I could have taken all her pain for her, I wouldve. I lost my husband 15 months ago. My sincerest condolences to you with the loss of your husband. Part of my life. There are no rules about how you . I feel your pain my husband died 6 months ago i want to give up but some how you learn to live again i pray alot i miss him he will always be in my heart i try to keep my mind on diffrent things i watch funny move ies go to the park the only thing is trying to sleep at night i cant give up he would have want me to live i know in my heart i will see him again am only 50 i still have a chance to be happy again i pray for you that god will take some of the hurt away and help you and gave you the peace you need to get through this this two shall pass, I definitely understand more then words can express. A week later I told them to let her go, and they removed life support. My heart hurts. After 6 months had passed I decided to go to the scene of the accident. Breast cancer took her from me and my three little babies (now 13 and 9 y/o). Interesting about the feathers too. I buried Milo with his mammy (a little memorial box that lay at my wife hands) went together on their journey. The pain is immense, there is no recipe or road map for this and most of no quick fix. My husband had alzheimers disease for 8 years and the past 3 years of that time were very hard, as his memory slipped away more and more. I deal with people daily and do not like my job. Bit it is difficult if not impossible journey to take by yourself, after suddenly losing someone you have loved & been with for over 30 years. Which really helped. I appreciate being able to write my feelings down and my heart goes out to you all. Be patient with yourself. Maybe its a person who is also floating. But I miss my husband so much- its so hard ach and every day to continue on. It's been two years since you're . I do things everyday by myself now and its very painful, part of me is gone and will never get it back. But I think I am doing ok in my grieving process, just grieving intensely right now. I feel that its not fair to her or myself. One day at a time. We were living in St. Louis when he was diagnosed with GBM-Brain cancer on November 2015. The medications are harsh but necessary. I had to sell my house I could not afford it so put it on the market 3 months after he passed, sold it and moved 6 months after my life had be turned upside down. We are more aware of those around us and of what we no longer have like pouring salt into an open wound. The pain is awful. but it ends in a big cry fest. Every moment where I was happy and excited was mixed with sadness and anger that my wife was not experiencing this. Its been 2 years since my mom died. I still cry daily but Im told thats not how it is for everyone. When Keanu died, I disintegrated physically and mentally. Like everyone else who has had a loss the pain seems to go on and on. I am at the beginning of the second year since John passed. I miss his smile, laughter, companionship,voice, etc. The loss of a special animal companion can leave devastating heartache and most people will suffer in silence out of fear of not being taken seriously just because the loss was not a human loss. His last two years were integral to my healing as he told me many times not to get stuck and to go on living a full, wonderful life. To have some exchange to feel better or to go forward. Holly, I cant breathe sometimes. All My family lives out of town. Memories or to go into a coffee shop. Im just over a year without my darling wife.. We all have a whole lot in common whether its short or long term living marriage, a lover, a friend or a family loved one. I grieve with you Lynn. Anne, and others, so sorry for your losses as well. How can we possibly ever recover. Our 3 year old looks and acts EXACTLY like him. It was the Uncle who lived in the UK that was my one of my last links with my Mum & their early life, this is what is hitting me. After 1.5 years, I have yet to accept the finality of his death and keep expecting him to come back. Please keep me in prayer as I figure out what my nect steps are. Im still trying to get over the shock of the diagnosis let alone his death. I feel guilty that it doesnt; as if I am hanging on to the grief. In readdmetion 10 yrs from 1989 ,,2018. My crying break downs are now short and fewer, but any little memory can set me off. It may be when we meet in the hereafter. Im sure that everyone on here can relate to that moment. Urban. Keep going- it will get more tolerable. Fathers day. I am integrating my old life with my new life. I cook dinners, I help with homework, I give hugs. Tho we were not blessed with children, i have a loving family, church, and friends. I was totally blank, dont know what to think nor what I feel, totally felt nothing. Remember the good times and know he would want you to live on and be happy. Even in the final week she thought of the future. Reasons why some tax refunds filed electronically take longer than 21 I know your husband is with you in spirt. They have kept me going. Its been 2 years 4 months and 18 days since I lost my husband unexpectedly He was only 59 and super fit. These powerful first-person stories explore . But here I am. My mums been gone 7 years tomorrow she passed away 23/03/2005 due to melanoma cancer I was 13 years old I was very young and that was . The good lord is caring me through this nightmare. You said it for me. I always go to sleep hoping God we let me see her in a vision or dream. I dont want him to think our lives are all moving on and I dont miss him. God Bless you in this unwanted journey. I am heart broken but as a lot of you have mentioned, it is just a different life of getting used to breathing and coping on my own.. We never thought this type of loss could happen to us. I started CPR and called 911 I thought they never get there, but I think now I knew he was gone, I was begging him not to leave me. One year has passed since you left your princess and gone to heaven. I was able to bury him next to his father. I hope you have survived you thoughts of taking you life. The first year was numb. Reality for me says it will never completely subside. Trying to picture myself living another 30 to 40 years without him feels impossible. He was diagnosed with an advanced cancer and died less than a month after. Tracy. My mom will be gone 2 years this coming May. Uthayanan SETHUPATHY. No shoulders left 2 lean on. I miss him so much. Its been nine months and not getting easier, why I was trying to see whats coming, when this pain will stop, its so exhausting. I know I will never be the same but hope to try to feel better with time. We have good days and bad days but the longing is always there. There is no way to just move on. I lost my husband 5 months ago we were married r5 yrs. From the day we met until the day she died was 7 days less than a year. After the loss of a family pet, many people wonder how long they should wait before they get a new cat or dog. I do hope this helps someone or anyone who is going through a really hard time. He appears whenever I need him and this brings comfort. So sad. Ericka, I relate. My family would like to bury his remains and I feel angry again . My life has forever been changed I have good days and mostly sad I can relate to nearly everyones pain, grief and hopelessness. I miss him every second of every day, i still cant believe it. Eric, The first year after her passing was very painful, yet it was what some people called the numbing year. It has given me some techniques to address when a wave hits to create some space to be able to take a breath. Even though it had been months since it happened, I could see where the earth had been turned over for proably 50 yards. I try to keep positive and remember that the love I have for him is stronger than anything in this world. I lost my only child Rob on Thanksgiving 2016 to a heroin overdose. We were supposed to grow old together. In that, certain things will trigger moments of grief that did not occur in year one. Kim was DOA at the hospital and I couldnt face seeing the non living face of another sister. The year anniversary of his passing will be Dec 5. Then, I ended up getting sick from malnutrition. And other waves will come. So in my head all I know is they were wrong. Since then, I have no clue or direction with what to do with my life. Just reading this now but I too have lost my fear of flying..it seems insignificant in all that has happened. I cant have gone completely cold though, as I cry reading all your letters, and am so grateful that we have each other xxx. Also. I keep praying to be taken God, Its ok, I will not be mad, I will be happy that I can finally not be so very unhappy. Do I really like this person. We had selected and paid for our weding bands. He & I were always together & even had the same thoughts many times surprising ourselves when we spoke of them. I feel so hopeless and Im just tired of feeling like this. Its definitely tough every year and Im on year 4. Could you kindly help me to contact Emma J Andrews Please? I feel like time has stopped as I am in a complete never ending story of several emotions at one time. I was hyper vigilant about every little thing; trying to hold on tight and control everything to keep from going under. I cant turn back and I cant just drop the boulder. They came to everything I was involved in from adolescence into adulthood. A Erwin Raphael McManus. Ive had cancer & this is far more painful on a daily basis. I can only say that with time, the pain and heartache will always be there, it just mellows with time. Dont compare yourself with those whom you know have had a loss. There are no winners, are there? The lord said it was not my time. Actually there have been windows of time, weeks at a time when I havent cried daily but I recently left the country to live in my native UK so I imagine that brought up a lot, hence the perceived regression. He was my best friend as well as my Father. I know most of what I am feeling is normal Wants me to be happy to live my life and get on with it. Lost my husband 2 yrs 4 months its hard I have good days but I need someone to talk to thats not family. Death cannot kill what never dies" - William Penn. It felt so good. I have no passion for anything and I feel an immense guilt that wont go away. Im in a stage where Im desperatly trying to remember everything about the time we had together. Try not to do that to your other child. wishing id been around more. We have another child to care for, but It is so hard to simply function at even a basic level now. And lots of shipwrecks. I wish everyone the best who want to continue their struggles to go on. Am I wrong? I totally understand, I also had to make this decision 2 years ago for my baby sister who I was caregiver of. I feel so alone and just want to go home to him. My siblings grieve with me, maybe they handle their emotions better. For me food was an interesting ordeal. Life has lost its luster. Thank you. What your going thru. I got through the first year because of being the only one that could handle all of the problems and stuff that takes place after the bread winner passes suddenly. I feel so empty and lost without her. But what is hurting me now is that my oldest child who hasnt got a boyfriend dosnt wont to spend Xmas with me and my new boyfriend. I lost mom 14 months ago. I too have a friend that Ive known for over 40 years. When a friend's parent passes away, it can be hard to know what to say to them. Never to be the same, never to fit into normal again. Remember Dad on His Death Anniversary: Quotes | Cake Blog So much loss for them too. You can see them coming. Ive cried so much. Even though they told me that he was going to die I didnt believe it for a minute. Shapes of the clouds. After I took him off life support. I lost my husband 2 years ago very suddenly, we had been together 43 years. it stands incomplete like our time together feels. not only was he the love of my life he was my best friend he is the one i would have turned to to ask ok, what do i do now..i dont know where i fit in the world now. Take care. It is now year two and in some ways hurt worse than the first when I was in shock. You see as more time passes, the enormity of the loss is more amplified. If you're a writer, poet, or musician, compose something. The finality of it all. Oh precious fellow travellers. Thank you, Kathy..I am so sorry your husbands life ended so needlessly.I would like to think your hubbys buddy is resting with him.my Katie ..my beautiful hound died 7 months after my hubby died and I KNOW she went to be with him..my 17 year old cat died one month before my hubby.so I do imagine them all together..keep strongthinking of you..hugs.