[Talking about the cake] You're just wasting energy, Told me to watch out for the brat, though; says she's a real wart. Whatever you do, just don't give in. . If you don't, I will get you. We all get carried away sometimes. Well, Matilda Wormwood. Wonderful. 6. Here's what I think of your lovely [He starts pulling at the book as though to tear it apart.]. AAAHH! Do you think I would allow myself to be defeated by these maggots, do you? MATILDA You have to force the little squits to toe the line! Just knock on the door . And I never understood you, not one little bit Who's got a pen? Agatha Trunchbull: Matilda turns around and carrot is facing her. He'd call me bumblebee. DOCTOR MATILDA 'Cause your life as you know it is "aitcH"-ent history. An idiot? MISS HONEY steps away from MATILDA as MISS TRUNCHBULL enters by the blackboard. Jenny: Well, I'll pay you back, young lady. Matilda: I sold it for $2,269. If you always take it on the chin and wear it, Funny Pickup Lines Woman's Day Do you believe in love at first sight, or should I walk by again? It's not mine! And . to the rules. Make him stop! If you always take it on the chin and wear it, I don't know. DOCTOR As of now, that's 1 line for each agent currently in the game. It is delineated into "His" and "Hers" sides.] BIG KIDS and CHILDREN DOCTOR MR WORMWOOD It was the biggest burp I had ever heard, the biggest burp I had ever heard about. MATILDA What was my profit for the day? Please! MISS HONEY [to MATILDA] This is your fault. MISS HONEY Loud, loud, loud, loud! What? Your parents must be so proud to have a girl as clever as you. I sold it for $999. National Green Hair Day! There's a place you are sent if you haven't been good. Agatha Trunchbull: Well, take another! You gotta be loud! They're individual! This is one of the best pick up lines to use after you have hugged someone for the first time. My hands are tied. Behind MR WORMWOOD and MATILDA, the scene changes from a living room to MATILDA's bedroom. Past Alice. See who wins. MISS TRUNCHBULL Oh, my good Lord! I don't know. MISS HONEY What am I? Let's leave maths for the time being . MISS HONEY What is your name? Was it magic? When a person is bad, that person has to be taught a lesson! [wielding a hammer throw] Now, the secret to my success in business is . Flipping, filthy, nasty, stupid Russians! I think you'll want your trousers loose. Won't change a thing. You're a liar and a scoundrel, and your father's a liar and a cheat, one of the most corrupt lowlifes in the history of civilization! It was like the entire world had gathered to see The Burning Woman, Hurling Through the Air, with Dynamite in Her Hair, Over Sharks and Spiky Objects, Caught By the Man Locked in a Cage. Who wants stories? Last week, I read quite a few. ? Trunchbull: BIG KIDS He's a small, ratty man, with luscious black hair. ], CHILDREN DOCTOR OLDER KIDS It's been clear there's no peer for a miracle like me. Agatha Trunchbull: One look at my face and it's plain to see. Would rob them of their hope of living happily. Amanda Thripp: Am I . Hanging down by your ears. I think in effect, In business, son, a man's hair is his greatest asset. 101 Weird & Best Pick Up Lines For Girls (Make Them Laugh!) Agatha Trunchbull: [She shoves ERIC out of his seat so MATILDA can stand on his desk.]. Most parents believe their children are the most beautiful creatures ever to grace the planet. [to MISS HONEY] You don't! I'm the best! . [while putting baby Matilda in the sink to rinse away spinach] Two, three, four. BIG KIDS and CHILDREN run off. An audience cheers. . But if I try I can remember, MISS HONEY. Yes. Every life I bring into this world A boy with no fingie? DOCTOR [She wraps her hands around MATILDA.] MISS HONEY Harry Wormwood: I need to talk to SOMEBODY besides our stupid kids! Narrator: I invite you to reply with your own cheesy agent pickup lines, as long as they aren't crossing the line of harassment (actually scrapped a Reyna line for that reason). Might as well be saying you think that it's okay, 8. He drops it again. We can have our cake and it it too! % %PDF-1.5 Where'd all this come from? A beautiful, beautiful little girl. We can have our cake and eat it , Ah-ah-aah-ah Others take a less emotional approach. Matilda: They took one look at the mileage on the first car and they said that these cars were all knackered. . There's never been a miracle, a miracle, a miracle as . Oh no, Headmistress. cancelled! They will probably say: "Yuck!" 3. MAN: So hilarious. 13. | Even time loves us.". You gotta get up and be loud! Good Lord, woman, have you started already? MRS WORMWOOD A really strong stomach. . Don't tell me. No one's going to look if you don't stand out. Agatha Trunchbull: She holds the hat out to him. . Oh, Matilda, this is very sad! But here it is, coming true: [realizes the Trunchbull is Miss Honey's aunt], [Matilda and Miss Honey walk past the Trunchbull's house]. MRS PHELPS retreats to the smaller block and sits down. Might as well be saying you think that it's okay, and the great performers would instantly oblige with the most spectacular show, just for them. Lights up. . It's just that they want that child so very much. Trunchbull: The teacher's clearly falling short. If you always take it on the chin and wear it, No one's gonna love you if you don't know the rumba. He's fantastic! Before my happy days were Over, Could I speak to you for a moment, please? MRS WORMWOOD walks back behind the curtain. It's going to be brilliant! Jenny: You see, unfortunately, Nigel suffers from the rare, but chronic sleep disorder, narcolepsy. MISS HONEY There's more the second part. MATILDA When I left my home, Aunt Trunchbull's home, I had to leave all my treasures behind. Three judges hold up signs reading "10" as MRS WORMWOOD sits on the table. They were written that way: Or just a coincidence? What you know matters less Doesn't mean that you just have to grin and bear it. Suddenly, out came the Escapologist, dressed as usual in his tights and spangly costume. And children in the bottom class aren't really expected to read. [throwing marshmallows as Matilda was grabbing the book that was thrown] You These raunchy, inappropriate, dirty pick up lines probably won't make anyone fall madly in love with you but they will definitely earn you a laugh. Written by Trunchbull on the blackboard: . Can't you sell good cars, Dad? You spend us into trouble and you expect me to get us out. MATILDA I don't believe Matilda's that kind of child at all. MRS WORMWOOD You'd better hide! [after smashing the entire cake platter over Bruce Bogtrotter's head, causing the children to stop cheering] I shall consign you to the seventh circle of hell, child. The BIG KIDS and CHILDREN take up various positions around the stage and audience, pointing in every which way. NIGEL, TOMMY Oh, it's nothing like that. "tomato"? And that's not a hint, by the way. Now get out. . You really don't know anything, do you? Marvellous. Corny, sweet, and funny all in one. "There's more than one Whomping Willow at Hogwarts, you know.". You have brats yourself? It gives me a warm glow in my lower intestine. Completely different cars, sir. Yes, sir. It's not a cheap set, it's a stolen set! MISS TRUNCHBULL finishes writing the word "GUILTY" on the board. Agatha Trunchbull: xYoH)SSY w:!>8615Nqrf Ukg73y,=zr%|X*p ao{~~O{Hp '|\|WOKk%eMJ|lKi@w+g#ZIW0uCAp`i Dr. Seuss Pick Up Lines. MISS HONEY hurries to pull the cap from NIGEL's mouth. I'm incredible! . The most precious gift the natural world can bestow upon us has been handed to you. A denizen of the underworld! Six times two is twelve. 4. MR WORMWOOD Mrs Wormwood, do you really have no idea? He's eaten it all. How about this. They are good runners, sir. I am off to bleach my roots . MATILDA The time has come to put that tumbly-tum to use. You wouldn't beat them in a race! I'm afraid I've not been too successful in getting others to recognize your . This calls for a proper smoke. My daddy says I'm his special little guy. So, what is it? I sold it for $7,839 big American boffo's. You what? I'm telling you, I didn't do it! Erm, well, as you know, Matilda is in the bottom class. If you're an escapologist, I must be an acrobat to balance that lot. Trunchbull: ], [She turns and walks back to her desk. And I'm very sorry . My mummy says I'm a precious barrelina. No "buts". Please, stand, and do as much as you can. [He dances backwards and MRS WORMWOOD follows along.]. The most beautiful miracle I have ever seen! I warn you, sir, I want a tight car, because I run a tight ship. She's got no respect, that one. and I shan't be talking to you for the rest of the evening, you horrid little man! Narrator: But to me, they tell a deeper story. Narrator: Mrs. Wormwood: So you're Wormwood, are you? The DOCTOR exits and MR WORMWOOD hurries after him. RD.com. MISS TRUNCHBULL They were left out there for the whole world to see because you weren't here to take 'em in! You'll never again be subject to abuse for your immense caboose. Jun 15, 2018 - Explore Kristin Wichman's board "Matilda quotes" on Pinterest. Matilda: You're a Wormwood, you start acting like one! Just you wait for phys-ed! And even if you put in heaps of effort, Right. My daddy says I'm his special little soldier. ALICE and HORTENSIA MR WORMWOOD and MICHAEL exit. FBI Agent Bob: Did you hear what he said? She re-enters carrying two square blocks, one larger than the other. If they start to squeeeeze out of your ears, you're going to need help. MISS TRUNCHBULL And therefore, she is guilty! Come along, Bogtrotter. The scene freezes again for BRUCE to talk. 1. No one's gonna tell you when to shake your tush. . | Can I ask you a question? Matilda: Oh, did I not mention? She then sniffs her way across the room, following the former path of the spotlight. And if I couldn't teach, I'd have nothing at all. One day when I'm older, You see, he fell asleep, and we put him under the coats for safety. She opens a book. What about rules, Honey? Look what you've done, you stupid woman. Agatha Trunchbull: MATILDA and ACROBAT [off stage]"It is where the loneliness of life has led us.". After your first day of school! You will soon (C) see there's no escaping trageDy. And yet, every single life, And . Harry Wormwood: Harry Wormwood: Ladies and gentlemen! She puts down the large block and MATILDA stands on it. A bell rings. MATILDA MRS PHELPS enters. Do you think I faltered or amended my rotation? Psst! Oh, y -, [she notices that the chocolate box lid is opened and hangs up]. Every day starts with the tick of a clock. Bruce! MR WORMWOOD, towel wrapped about his shoulder, enters the bathroom with MICHAEL. No kid likes being yelled at, but it was precisely Harry's ranting and raving that gave Matilda the key to her power. . MATILDA and the ACROBAT'S SISTER [off-stage] I . See more ideas about matilda quotes, matilda, quotes. It is flanked by AMANDA and ERIC in lab coats over their costumes. "I'm right and you're wrong, I'm big and you're small, and there's nothing you can do about it.". Are you a pig, Amanda? Oh, very rich. ALL COUPLES: What? The stage goes black. Babies! MATILDA picks up various bottles from the vanity and reads from their labels. I have to tell you, Headmistress, that in . Didn't we?! 2. I'm competing in the Bi-Annual International Amateur Salsa and Ballroom Dancing Championships in Paris. At night, they listened to the silence of their big, empty house, and they would imagine how beautiful it would be if it was filled with the sound of a child playing. Two BIG KIDS start climbing on the gate, flanking alphabet blocks as they are are pushed through the gate when they are mentioned in the song. MR WORMWOOD enters with a lackey, who sits on a tyre behind him. Over a drink. MICHAEL sits on his lap. . You shall be destroyed. MISS TRUNCHBULL When the sun comes up, And I will watch cartoons until my eyes go square - CHILDREN - And I won't care 'Cause I'll be all grown up. Oh, my word, he's an ugly little thing. My daddy says I'm his special little guy! MRS WORMWOOD And honestly, I was really, definitely, sort of, almost thinking about owning up. The other dancers and judges exit, leaving MRS WORMWOOD and RUDOLPHO in a dramatic position. Michael: The police decided he killed himself. ACROBAT and ESCAPOLOGIST [off-stage] If I let this little girl fall? Oh, let's put it this way. One second, Dad. Harry Wormwood: Matilda, 4 Years: google_color_link="000000"; And it isn't wide enough to sit. MRS WORMWOOD Mr. Wormwood: Like, why is there a "d" in "fridge" but . How does that sound? Everyone is born, but not everyone is born the same. Has my daddy told ya From a book in the library. . Dance competition's over. My daddy says I'm his special little soldier. My mommy thinks they're sweet. All right. NIGEL . I'm in the zone, doll! Zinnia Wormwood: Look, I don't suppose we could exchange it for a boy, could we? MISS TRUNCHBULL hurries over to AMANDA. They embrace and exit out the back of the stage. MATILDA Fourteen times two is twenty-eight. "'The Burning Woman, Hurling Through the Air, with Dynamite in Her Hair, over Sharks and Spiky Objects, Caught By the Man Locked in a Cage', and it is the most dangerous feat ever known to man! Honest. Are you smoking a cigarette? No, but don't people need good cars? "Lovely"? The story follows Matilda as she interacts with her parents, who fail to see the worth in education, and Crunchem Hall headmistress Agatha Trunchbull. They are all dressed in costume: Eric as Batman, Tommy as the . When you turn the corner, when you go to your cubbies to get your smelly coats, when you skip merrily to lunch, I'll be watching you, all of you, and especially you. . Check it if you don't believe me. And the second part is Chokey! | 6. To stand up and be proud! MRS PHELPS screams and exits. Miracle! "It is called," said the husband, announcing the event to the world's press, who had gathered to listen with bated breath [The voice of the ESCAPOLOGIST echoes her words.] [to Michael, who is choking on a carrot Matilida shot at his mouth with her powers] And each night, the children of the town would wait in anticipation, hoping for a glimpse of the shiny white scarf that the acrobat always wore, for then they knew that they had only to cry, "Tricks! MISS HONEY, BIG KIDS, and CHILDREN They're trying to scare us. I'm not hinting, but if you did happen to have a story you wanted . Lissy Doll, I called her. It's Miss Honey. Maryn Liles Feb 17, 2023 It's no lie that online dating. But I've got a baby! Quite the contrary. I can see we're not going to agree, are we? What kind of society would that be? BIG KIDS We can spell "difficulty". RUDOLPHO LAVENDER I'm gonna sue you, I'm gonna burn down your showroom! Where did you get those? Matilda, that . She went on olden-day sailing ships with Joseph Conrad. A child. Agatha Trunchbull: BIG KID [BEN] Ah-ah-aah-ah You're being pathetic! Yes. Matilda Quotes Showing 1-30 of 112 "So Matilda's strong young mind continued to grow, nurtured by the voices of all those authors who had sent their books out into the world like ships on the sea. CHILDREN Stupid, nasty, stinking, slimy . My daddy says I should learn to shut my pie-hole. The audience gasped so loud that a passing aeroplane caught it on its instrumentation and recorded it as an atmospheric phenomenon. <>/ExtGState<>/ProcSet[/PDF/Text/ImageB/ImageC/ImageI] >>/MediaBox[ 0 0 612 792] /Contents 4 0 R/Group<>/Tabs/S/StructParents 0>> [insulted] . The scene changes to the Wormwood's living room. Matilda: Are you being smart with me? And worst of all, when the girl was five, her father died. CHILDREN Jenny: And yet every single life, She laughs. PICK UP LINES! MRS PHELPS Green hair? If you want to throw the hammer for your country, Students: Oh, my head! The reason the mileage is so high is a manufacturing mistake.". . . I wonder why they didn't just change their story. . [Jenny enters Ms. Trunchbull's office and almost get struck by a dart]. So, Matilda. I told them, I said, "Hey. google_color_url="320000"; Hey, sleep with me.I am not scary.I'm really rich.I'm Drew Carey. MISS TRUNCHBULL MATILDA MATILDA sits down reading a book. See you next week. But she was about to discover she had a strength a strength she wasn't even aware of. Harry Wormwood: Harry Wormwood: Knock on the door, Jenny. BRUCE You're getting on a plane, Mrs Wormwood? I have suffered in this Jail, MATILDA and ESCAPOLOGIST But learning a language is over the top . Use the rod, beat the child, that's my motto. Hey, Dip face. What's what, Ms. Trunchbull? MR WORMWOOD runs over and grabs MATILDA's book. "You Must Be Worried Now That Donald Trump is President Because He Would Deport You Back to Heaven." Mrs. . Harry Wormwood: Your old man is going to work. I can! Bruce! Smile for mother! Harry Wormwood, owner, founder, whatever. so I pick it up and - No! Once in our Cube of Cash, any money that sticks to your gooey body, you get to take home! Did we sell some cars today, honeydew? You wouldn't listen. Matilda Wormwood: I thought grown-ups weren't afraid of anything. . "I have paid for the posters, publicity, the catering, the toilet facilities. I'm not paying it. Give my little bumblebee her house and her money. Because basically a sentence is just a big bunch of words. Good-bye, Miss Honey. No kid likes being yelled at. I am trying to pull off the biggest business deal of my life and I have to listen to this. The DOCTOR runs behind the table with the others. . Merriam-Webster defines a "pick-up line" as "a prepared remark used by a person to start a conversation with a stranger they are interested in having a romantic relationship with". That's not fair! CHILDREN 1 Mum says I'm a good case for population control. MATILDA Zinnia Wormwood: [He throws the cigarette into the audience.] Why? I have never been able to understand why small children are so disgusting. I wish my pillow was as huggable as you. But here it is, coming true: Creep on back to that library of yours or something. MISS TRUNCHBULL Secrets. Somewhere along the way, my dear, Eight times two is sixteen. MRS WORMWOOD Roald Dahl's Matilda The Musical. Lost your appetite? She found a small cottage. Look at you trying to hide, silly. It must be wonderful for a child to be so wanted. Yes. DOCTOR Sit down. You have just made a very big mistake. She didn't know. BIG KID [TAYLOR] No, Miss Trunchbull. How can I make up my own pickup line? Yesterday, she caught Julius Rottwinkle eating a gobstopper during science. . I can see MAN: I think he blinked. Back before my life had ended, [to MRS WORMWOOD] Would you please shut up? That's the main thing. have you read a whole book? [They start chattering. Harry Wormwood: Do all those brains in your head give you a headache? Harry Wormwood: Don't let her win. . It's time you learned the family business. A book? He screams and turns around, hitting ERIC's cap against ERIC's desk. Let alone getting the conversation going! The CHILDREN and BIG KIDS step back, leaving AMANDA in a spotlight. Harry Wormwood: School? Children are maggots! You are going to march in there and give them a piece of your mind. She sat down, and when she got up . Alternate Versions That kids like me should be against the law. [Matilda arrives home from school late at night after Bruce Bogtrotter's encounter with the Trunchbull] The CHILDREN thrash in their seats. Miss Trunchbull, I was the one who was at your house last night, and I think Agatha Trunchbull: Is your nickname glucose? [He tries and fails to pull his hat off, tugging on it several times.] But I'm a barrelina Do you have a job? MATILDA DOCTOR MRS PHELPS Maybe. it isn't fair! I've had them since I was big enough to Xerox. Hat seems to be, er . Yes, sir. I think they just fit. Now go watch TV like a good kid. Yeah, I got a boy, Mikey, and one mis-*take*, Matilda. MAN: Don't put honey on your brother. Good heavens. In my class, that is, er, there is a little girl called Matilda Wormwood. When she was just two years old, her mother died. You fool! And . I'm not crying because it's sad. In . Yourself, Matilda? Mustn't let a little thing like "little" stop you. Doesn't mean that you just have to grin and bear it. DOCTOR Listen, you little wiseacre: I'm smart, you're dumb; I'm big, you're little; I'm right, you're wrong, and there's nothing you can do about it. [loses it, to Matilda] Eat. . MATILDA grabs her books and runs off the front of the stage. I will not say anymore! [He pulls the towel over his head and starts massaging vigorously]. This uncorrupted mind. Stop. WOMAN: She is clearly more emotionally developed than her peers. The CHILDREN and BIG KIDS take off their blazers and throw them on top of him. [TV Version] Jenny: A contract is a contract is a contract! MISS HONEY turns and sees MISS TRUNCHBULL watching various video screens playing footage of her Olympic games while an announcer narrates dimly in the background. MR WORMWOOD MR WORMWOOD These books gave Matilda a hopeful and comforting message: You are not alone." Roald Dahl, Matilda tags: books , literature , reading , words A bell rings. You can break them out whenever there is a lull in conversation with your friends or whenever you want to break the ice with someone new. [She flicks the screens off again.] Yes, yes. . You I don't want green hair. Matilda: It's the Trunchbull's speciality. "Hi, My Name Is [insert name]." I'd say this one is the number one pick-up line of all time. Jane Eyre . B-R-O-O-C-E! And if you want to make the team, The table stops and the hands hit the ground. There is a spotlight on BRUCE as he begins to talk. And now she's after me! My mummy says I'm a miracle, DOCTOR The CHILDREN reach out from behind the gate as the BIG KIDS carry them away. Matilda lies down and flicks off the light. [cutting off Harry's hat with scissors] COUPLE 2 Matilda : You're very brave, Miss Honey. MRS WORMWOOD walks out from behind the curtain, heavily pregnant. RG0 What? I want you around here now with another car! Just knock on the door. Opening lines from children's books to capture new readers, to inspire writers, to reminisce with old favourites. MRS WORMWOOD Million $ Sticky Host: Trunchbull: Matilda might never have discovered her great own strength of mind, were it not for the events that began on the very next day. Who you been talking to? No one's gonna care if you don't care, I can't abandon my children. Ow! Well, I shall take your money when you earn it, and I shall spend it. . Stop! What's wrong with the telly? The chances of existence almost infinitely small. [hands Michael the cookies] . He's going to blow. Chew your food; you're an animal! Cancelled, because my wife is . 3. Best dirty pick-up lines 1. You've never set foot in a library. MISS TRUNCHBULL . MATILDA [whacks the desk again with her riding crop]. I didn't do it. Harry Wormwood: Mr. Wormwood: Isn't there something you can do? DOCTOR Fifteen times two is thirty. 1. MATILDA MATILDA And always keep your feet inside the line! . ERIC, TOMMY, and BRUCE Aaaargh! NIGEL MATILDA THE MUSICAL. Then suddenly, the audience jumped to its feet and roared in appreciation! They sits and unpack their bags. I wonder what Miss Trunchbull is afraid of. MRS WORMWOOD Oil of Violets hair tonic for men. Jenny: For this newt you pin-worm! Mrs Wormwood, I want you to think very carefully. It's just a door. Why don't you run away? The biggest burp I had ever heard about! MATILDA . Wonderful. And if you want to teach success, 5. My mummy says I'm a miracle, LAVENDER MATILDA TOMMY [reciting the words as Matilda magically writes them on the blackboard] so our main focus is on cute pickup lines, funny pick up lines, cheesy pick up lines, corny pickup lines, clever pickup lines, bad pick up lines, worst pick up lines, sweet pickup lines, and this list is . So they say. And each night, the children of the town would wait in anticipation, hoping for a glimpse of the shiny white scarf that the acrobat always wore, for then they knew that they had only to cry, "Tricks! MR WORMWOOD Even if you're little, you can do a lot. MISS TRUNCHBULL Where are the children's books? WOMAN: She's just delightful. You missed it. A purple spotlight starts to make its way from Bruce across the classroom. Harry Wormwood: A little less brains, a lot more hair. On a boat, in a car, with your toes all curled - Oh, the places we'll go when I rock your world. Trunchbull: The library? A DOCTOR enters. It was the biggest burp I had ever heard. The scene changes to the Wormwood's living room. Since you're an educator, I'll make you a deal. MATILDA 7. Yes, I know what caveat emptor means, you lowlife liar! There's never been a miracle, a miracle, a miracle Let me tell you something, son. The hat rack is taken away. MR WORMWOOD Mr. Wormwood: . Miss Honey doesn't want you. Used to compete in the Olympics, throwing the hammer! Might have been nice, Uh, welcome to Wormwood Motors. This must confirm, Bruce, He's part Italian, you know. abilities. [he, Zinnia, and Mikey glance at the paper, then at Matilda] Look, is this gonna take much longer, doctor? Can you service me? MATILDA Wouldn't you agree, Miss Honey? [sometimes, to be in time with the music: Well? You know, sometimes I think there's something wrong with that girl. You chose books - I chose looks. Yes, your teacher. . The group sets off party poppers down the line. We must find out how it ends. And I've told her all about you and your smarty-pants ideas. . Or even two, Bruce, You? She'll call a truce, Bruce. You gotta be loud! I hope you know CPR, because you are taking my breath away. But I . Stop me when this becomes true, but once upon a time, you and I went on a date. MISS HONEY This one was mine. MISS TRUNCHBULL takes BRUCE by the wrist and leads him off the front of the stage. Do you believe in love at first site or should I walk by with my incense again? Apply just one simple rule ;)Don't forget to SUBSCRIBE to our. Come in, come in, whoever you are. To survive this mess by being a prince or a princess.