Massachusetts Department of Mental Health (DMH), Life Purpose Coach | Professional Trainer [00:37:56] Jordan Harbinger: You're basically the emotional version you ever seen Coming to America where the guy spreads rose petals in front of everywhere that James Earl Jones walks because he's the king? And that projection is that that defense, it protects us. Lessons/Courses/Products: To send you lessons, courses or products in which you are interested. (business & personal). It's very victimized, sullen, resentful. She received her B.S. BY VISITING THE WEBSITE, YOU ARE CONSENTING TO THE FOLLOWING TERMS OF USE. [00:19:58] Jordan Harbinger: That's a good point. So you can imagine there's a wide range of differences in how people are having to deal with this. Contact over 250M professionals instantly by email or phone. Should Company seek to make such an amendment and we (in our sole discretion) consider the amendment to be material in nature, we shall clearly publish on the home page a notice that an amendment is being made. [00:00:04] Coming up next on The Jordan Harbinger Show. [00:37:51] Dr. Ramani Durvasula: And hypocrisy does not sit well with us. Victim, Victim, victim." COMPANY IS MAKING THE WEBSITE AVAILABLE AS IS WITHOUT WARRANTY OF ANY KIND. Please note that where consent forms the basis, you can withdraw consent at any time by contacting Jen Harbinger, or opting out of any email message using the unsubscribe link. [00:53:38] Excessive reference to others for self-esteem, constantly comparing yourself to others, the sense of entitlement, the thing is though, with a lot of these narcissistic traits, celebrities and executives, they have a little bit of entitlement a lot of the time. That's jordanharbinger.com/course. The only way to do that is to go undercover in the club and go up into the ranks. But if you're dating them or they're your brother or something like that, that's almost like the price of entry to staying in this relationship is you are on the hook for managing their mood by validating them constantly. So like Narcissus is not about the beautiful boy who loved himself. Society for Clinical and Experimental Hypnosis, President at Lifetime Brands I mean, I know people like this in the industry and I'll watch them in a restaurant because I'm thinking like, "Wow.". [00:46:57] Dr. Ramani Durvasula: issues around attachment. Legitimate interests for processing your personal information exist where you submit the information with an expectation that it will be processed and there is no undue impact on you. I mean, again, it's hard. Spoiler alert, turns out it was not a true story at all. Surviving a Relationship with a Narcissist (Post Hill Press, 2015). [00:23:31] Jordan Harbinger: You're listening to The Jordan Harbinger Show with our guest, Dr. Ramani. So then, people equate that rollercoaster and that idea of like, "Okay, this is a bad day, but oh my gosh, we're going to work towards another good day." Dr. Ramani Durvasula is a licensed clinical psychologist in private practice in Santa Monica and Sherman Oaks, CA and Professor of Psychology at California State University, Los Angeles, where she was named Outstanding Professor in 2012. You agree not to duplicate, imitate, copy, reproduce, transmit, publish, display, distribute, sell, transfer, assign, license, sub-license, publicly perform, commercially exploit or create derivative works of such material and content, nor to help or assist third parties in doing the same. Zapier works with over 4,000 popular apps to automate almost any workflow imaginable. [00:53:03] Jordan Harbinger: Okay, that is way more spot on because there was a sense of entitlement. DIGITAL MILLENNIUM COPYRIGHT ACT; COPYRIGHT INFRINGEMENT. Clinical psychologist, professor of psychology, and author, Durvasula is best known for her book You Are WHY You Eat: Change Your Food Attitude, Change Your Life (Skirt!, 2013) and is currently promoting her latest book, Should I Stay or Should I Go? If you are an individual under 18 and have provided personal information or content to us in some manner, you have the right to request the deletion of that information pursuant to the California Eraser Law. Contact us to make such a request at support@jordanharbinger.com. These people, is that conscious, you think, or is that subconscious, that level of devious manipulation? And each episode turns our guest's wisdom into practical advice. I think they're not even thinking of it as supply. No credit card required. [00:55:14] Dr. Ramani Durvasula: So there would be a racial reaction, but it's, you need these things in a row. So the person going through it, especially since no one's recognizing it, a doctor is not recognizing it, law enforcement is not recognizing it. This is kind of awkward." Making remote or global hires? Company reserves the right to terminate your receipt, transmission, or other distribution of any such material using the Service, and, if applicable, to delete any such material from its servers. Not just because they're role-playing and trying it on, but because they're like, "Look man, look at what this person's getting away with. [00:04:41] Dr. Ramani Durvasula: It's actually a genuine apology. Her current practice location is 5151 State University Drive, Csula - King Hall, Los Angeles. And so on the field of psychology, it's relative infancy too, compared to all of the other sciences, if you want to view it that way. Nothing ever works out for me. She attributed it to less activity, not being . [00:20:18] Dr. Ramani Durvasula: So complex post-traumatic stress disorder or complex post-trauma is sort of a development of our thinking on trauma. [00:51:22] Jordan Harbinger: This guy is definitely a cheater. [00:54:52] Dr. Ramani Durvasula: And they get things done. {{ userNotificationState.getAlertCount('bell') }}. So, I think, you know, you bring up a really important point, it's that we always think about the lack of empathy and the entitlement and the grandiosity and I'm all that, and it's not just the parents' basement guy. "I need to be treated this way, but I don't need to treat you this way.". You can't hide it from somebody you live with. You can also find the link in the episode notes. Enter your name and email address below and I'll send you periodic updates about the podcast. So I think in some ways, although what they're doing seems so devious, it may not even be as clever as we think. We don't have to deal with that ugly, yucky, unconscious stuff. A publicist or someone else says, "Hmm, you need to apologize." That's what's awesome about Zapier. You will not be compensated for any User Content. D., Ramani S. Available In Stores Relevance Bestselling Release Date Price (Low to High) Price High to Low) Mark Turner A3 Artists Agency 275 7th Ave-26th Floor NY, NY 10001 We are the one percent. WE DO NOT WARRANT THAT THE WEBSITE OR ANY OF ITS CONTENT WILL BE UNINTERRUPTED OR ERROR-FREE, THAT DEFECTS WILL BE CORRECTED, OR THAT THE WEBSITE OR THE SERVERS THAT HOST SUCH CONTENT ARE FREE OF VIRUSES OR OTHER HARMFUL COMPONENTS OR ARE FULLY FUNCTIONAL, ACCURATE OR RELIABLE. So a person who's a really well put together, empathic, again, self-aware human being is not going to turn into a narcissist because they go on Instagram. But I'll tell you the difference in that person who might say, "Well, he's getting away with it, so I'm going to try to get away with it," that person who's sort of following along, it feels more uncomfortable for them because it's sort of not who they are because their empathy kicks in and says, "Well this isn't cool, those other people have been waiting in line for 20 minutes. Look at my fast sports scar. THE LIMITATIONS, EXCLUSIONS AND DISCLAIMERS HEREIN AND ELSEWHERE IN THESE TERMS OF USE APPLY TO THE MAXIMUM EXTENT PERMITTED BY APPLICABLE LAW. There's no talking about this. There's handlers. It just sounds horrible. I feel bad for the ones that didn't. It's not a healthy habit, but that happens a lot. Companys privacy policy is expressly incorporated into this Agreement by this reference. It just sort of, mmm, this kind of stays steady. [00:57:06] Dr. Ramani Durvasula: Because the narcissistic person called them a narcissist, right? I can manipulate this person. That's why these relationships feel really transactional, so that goes to entitlement. We even had Frank Abagnale on the show. jordanharbinger.com/deals is where you can find it. I think people are snappy, but I don't know. Remember, we rise by lifting others. And that really nails it because as a rule, with some exceptions, narcissistic people are actually extroverted. You lose that kind of discrimination, you know, that ability to sort of choose because you're not thinking like, this is awful. Try Zapier for free today at zapier.com/jordan. [00:30:56] Jordan Harbinger: Oh yeah, especially, the design of the rocket. Nothing is ever enough, right? Zapier makes it easy to connect all your apps, automate routine tasks, and streamline your processes. Look, how great I am. After contacting us, if you still feel an issue has not been resolved, you have the right to file a complaint with a Supervisory Authority such as the Data Protection Commissioner of Ireland. [00:29:36] Jordan Harbinger: So let's talk a little bit about what narcissism is, who these people are. [00:00:00] Jordan Harbinger: Special thanks to Invesco for sponsoring this episode of The Jordan Harbinger Show. Because it seems like Instagram is the perfect magnet for this. And my feeling on that is if they're that insecure, you know what they can do because everyone who's in a relationship with a narcissist is going to therapy, has about the narcissists consider rolling up to therapy and unpacking that insecurity the way the rest of us do, or what my clients do on a regular basis and do that hard work. million verified professionals across 35 million companies. Some people will go the litigation route. Because the wounds that folks carry from these relationships that are unseen because they're not physical are profound. NO WARRANTIES. And I think that there's sort of two subsets of jerk finders. The therapist will even help you track your goals. [00:07:18] Dr. Ramani Durvasula: If you're willing to act foolish enough, you too can be famous. by The Candidly Team. [00:19:32] Dr. Ramani Durvasula: That's just drama. Ce bouton affiche le type de recherche actuellement slectionn. [00:54:44] Dr. Ramani Durvasula: You know, they're not awful people. She is a psychologist, media expert, and author based in New York City. That's exactly right. Dr. Ramani Durvasula is a licensed clinical psychologist and Professor of Psychology at California State University, Los Angeles. [00:18:12] Dr. Ramani Durvasula: You know, merely, right, that that idea of the just is I always say if emotional abuse showed up as scars on a person's face or body, we'd be calling 911 constantly while we stood in line at the grocery store, in Starbucks all the time. Something would happen and we would look at each other in the backseat of the car like ugh, you know, we would all roll our eyes like this the rest of the night. The Website is based in the United States. But it turns out Frank Abagnale's entire life story is actually just kind of a lie, and it might be the greatest con that Abagnale actually pulled. And that's when you get the "I'm sorry you feel that way" nonsense apologies. [00:40:14] One thing you mentioned in the book that was really, really tricky and devious in a way where I was like, wow, that's smart and scary was, I don't know, if this is a flag or a tell, but they want to meet your family really fast, which initially seems romantic but it's actually quite cunning because then it raises its stakes, right? Any violation of system or network security may subject you to civil and/or criminal liability. I have some more questions about these dysregulations and people in relationships with narcissists later on as well. Like again, it's not just the tomato. Are you able to check yourself and pay attention to how your behavior affects other people? And he was abandoned by his mother and he said, "Well, I'm always trying to replace mom. Because I think what we have to recognize is that there's a continuum, right? You need more than a tomato to make salsa. That's Z-A-P-I-E-R.com/jordan. - Check out my new podcast Navigating Narcissism. Most of us rely on technology for our jobs, and if you're like us, we use so many different apps like Slack, Google Drive, Trello, you name it. In 1989, Durvasula obtained a Bachelor of Science in Psychology from the University of Connecticut. [00:01:21] Today, we are doing a big one on narcissism. California State University, Los Angeles, Professor at California State University, Los Angeles I kind of feel sorry for them. No. And it's like, "Yeah, but you're really, you're not that great. We are located in the United States. Any election to arbitrate, at any time, shall be final and binding on the other party. So people are frustrated. Should we sell this site or the Company, your personal information will be transferred to the new owner. Freud was the one who took the first biggest plunge into narcissism. Now, 1:00 p.m., this guy's a mess." You're like, "Huh?" It's no secret that she believes US president Donald Trump is a narcissist. I mean, you need some evolution for that. [00:16:36] Jordan Harbinger: If they're lucky, they're divorced, I guess. They're going to be able to take this." Transactions: To process a purchase you make with us. Why am I not meeting their family? Campbell, CA 95008-2357 And that's the challenge, it's a hard thing to push against, but it's almost like they're not even aware of it. 4 Types of Dissociation & Their Coping Strategies. and discover candidates outside of LinkedIn, Trusted by 400K users from 76% of Fortune 500 companies, Find anyone, anywherewith ContactOut today. They're different, right? 10x your recruitment & sales conversations. Select the department you want . And it's heartbreaking because our laws aren't set up for this, right? When expanded it provides a list of search options that will switch the search inputs to match the current selection. The bricks of personality start building honestly before we're born because we have sort of an inborn temperament. About Me Locations. [00:54:00] So narcissism seems like a combination of a bunch of things that probably all of us do but taken to a degree that makes it like a mental illness. I used to save the file, download it, then zip it up, put it in a folder, upload it, and then let everyone know. And I thought, now you mentioned this, I'm like, well, okay. It's created through a variety of events that happen in childhood and all of that. Even though everyone else is jumping, I don't feel good about this." 186 following. [00:59:39] Dr. Ramani Durvasula: That said, what I don't like about it is the selling of the artificial narrative, because the narcissist is the masterful at selling the false self by putting on the mask and that mask actually does harm to other people. [00:50:26] Dr. Ramani Durvasula: So they do often the pandemic was a nightmare for narcissistic people because, you know, for someone like me, the tragedy was watching people get sick and dying, but being told I couldn't leave my house, you couldn't have told me something better. So when a new narcissistic person rolls up, just like those train tracks, you're so used to loud noise out your window, that when there's a new loud noise, when there's a new person behaving like this, you don't say, "Stop, red light, toxic. [00:24:29] Jen Harbinger: Listen to the real Catch Me If You Can on Pretend podcast, search for Pretend on Apple Podcast, Spotify, or wherever you're listening now. [00:20:14] Jordan Harbinger: You mentioned in the book that it can cause is it CPTSD? Trexin Consulting, CIO, Managing Director at Cara Investment GmbH Do you think social media/Instagram, do they cause narcissism, or do they just attract it? I'm Jordan Harbinger. So multiple studies have shown a correlation between people with more narcissistic personalities and posting selfies, and that's not exactly rocket science. [00:22:30] Dr. Ramani Durvasula: I'd say most often sicker than the smoker spewing it out. [00:11:20] So that contagion is definitely there. [01:05:37] I'm teaching you how to connect with great people and manage relationships using the same software, systems, and tiny habits that I use every day. Dismiss. So this was a word. One thing we do know about narcissistic folks is they're really out of touch with what motivates their behavior. You get the good morning text, you get the good night text. Lessons/Courses/Products: We will ask for your consent first. However, we use certain third parties to assist us with processing your personal data including the following categories of recipients: These third parties have signed agreements with us in which they are prohibited from utilizing, sharing or retaining your personal data for any purpose other than that agreed upon by us and them within our business relationship. [00:00:54] If you're new to the show or you want to tell your friends about the show, I suggest our episode starter packs as a place to begin. What company does Ramani Durvasula work for? Dr. Ramani Suryakantham Durvasula: her birthday, what she did before fame, her family life, fun trivia facts, popularity rankings, and more. It's really important again to not call the tomato salsa. We can help. Ramani Durvasula is Professor What is Ramani Durvasula's personal email address? For those who need actionable insight and advice on how to handle a narcissist, this book is the perfect companion to the many MedCircle series on the topic. I'm not going to last long doing that. Whereas a narcissistic person, if I said, "Ooh, that's not a good look," they'll be like, "Shut the F up, blah, blah," you know? NO LICENSE. This poor person is getting beaten by their" But when somebody comes in and is just emotionally traumatized, we kind of don't know what to do.